Okay, after a lot of mental flailing about, I'm going to try to go about this gender-role discussion in a more thought-out manner.
So Step One is going to be attempting to define where and what gender roles are.
What traits are generally considered manly? Feminine? Where do they originate from? What things that we think of that was come from the 1890's dissection of gender, which from the earlier Puritan from god to the priest to the father to the family model, which from practical concerns from pre-industrial times, which hard-wired as survival traits?
It's early, so I'm just going to leave that there with the questions for the time being.